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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The clueless clue.

The weather's been pretty forgiving last week; with a wee bit of showers here and there...

Last Saturday was even better. It rained from afternoon till 5pm. It was cool and nice. I'm beginning to think that an atmosphere of cool and somewhat a bit cloudy to be bliss. Really, I mean there's a lot you can do on a cloudy-look-its-a-bout-to-rain day compared to normal hot sunny days. You can sleep, read, go out for a drink, ermm, sleep..practically anything involving a complete waste of your time. Well at least your using your time instead of not doing anything.

Erni told me last Friday that Dr. Z wanted to see me about the Korea-thingy. Great, just great. It's bad enough that I wasn't shortlisted and now she wants to rub it in my face? Well I'm still taking one of her papers this thursday, so I guess might as well come see her today than incur her wrath. Believe me, my biotech collegue certainly know how cruel she can be. So I just came back from seeing her around 11am just to hear that I'm also shortlisted to go. But there's always a catch. She told me this is still uncertain and can only confirm this 'somewhere' in this week. Come on. How can she be not sure about this when there's already three students confirmed of going? Plus, I've confirmed my LI in IMR and got tickets to go. So now I'm stuck. Those kinda situations where you're uncertain of whether going (to Korea) would be a good idea now. Of course I'd be a tad great for my CV but let's face it; it's the same really doing your LI anywhere. Your CV's not going to give you any advantage if you're not worth it.

What'd you suggest me do if you were in this similar situation?

Oh, and Dr. Z asked me for another version of my CV which indicated my grades for each core subject I took in UMS. What a drag. I had to get home and return back to UMS (a grand total of ~35km of distance, 50 mins time) just to give a silly 3-page 'mortgage' of myself. Well, again, I'm still taking one of her papers and I don't wanna jeopardise my 'neutral' state with her. I mean, my future's still in her hands...and that hurts.

I had a very spiritual conversation with Fifah on the phone last Saturday night about our paths in the future. How everyone's gonna continue their lives as, pursuing the careers they dreamed of. It's a simple facet of another phase in life at first glance but it's not at all gonna turn up the way you'd want it to. We talked about being strong and really work for whatever you want, so that you'll earn what you'll deserve. And the fact that you don't have to pursue a career that you really want; sometimes what you really want is another thing that takes time for you to be acquired to. Take me for instance. It never occured to me that I'd take up Biotech and at some point before admission I even thought of dropping the programme. But looking back I can now smile and say that I'm glad I spent three years of my life studying genes, tissue cultures, biochemistry, microbiology, molecular genetics and other interesting conduits of Biotechnology. It made me more aware and fascinated by life and our surroundings. I guess what Prof. Ho said the first day in class was indeed true - Biotech is the study of Life; and understanding it.

Time is getting shorter for us together as we face the end of the exam weeks...

No one can predict the future correctly - not even me. Anything can happen and even small things can lead to extraordinary suprises in life. That's just how it is; and that's just how it'll always be. I dunno if I'm gonna get the Korean offer, and I'm as clueless as if whether I'll accept it and go. IMR seems so nice now for me and GIST not so. But sometimes its not based on either you like it or not - sometimes its acquired...

-JeP

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