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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"The one with my first role model II..."

Growing up, you always had your mother whenever you yearned for love, affection and moral support; but at times when your stead strives for wisdom and advice - you go to none other but your father.

When I was pursuing my matriculation in Universiti Malaya almost a decade ago, I used to steal time away from campus and enjoy dinner with my father whenever he was in Kuala Lumpur for work. Back then my family lived in Kota Kinabalu and because geographically both cities were separated by sea, it was at a point in my life where I was officially living 'abroad' from them for the first time.

In hindsight; I remember one time when I was struggling to adapt with campus life - I took every opportunity to rant about them to my father whenever we met. My father's approach to life was somewhat unorthodox; he is a man of few words, and believes the best advice one can give are those that are imbued through actions.

But I remember one advice he gave me, that affected me most profoundly;

"You want something - you do it on your own accord and seek not any help. Everything you have should be those you've earned yourself, but also be thankful for those you were privileged of getting."

When I was young, I always thought that I was living my life though the eyes of my father; but little that I know - he was instead living his, through mine.

My every fears, sorrows and regrets became his; my anguishes afflicted him; my every heartaches and pains ordained a cut he also shared.

But despite going through every single detriment and harm - he is always there to cushion my fall, and by my every fall he is always there to pick me back up. Only a father does this unconditionally, and they do this to the very best of their abilities - they are our first grasp of how a hero is like; and will continue to be one throughout our lives.

That's why, with that - a father always sees every success, happiness and tranquility in my life as his as well; and all our accomplishments and accolades lights in lieu of their presence.

A parent dedicates his or her life for their childrens'. Being one is certainly no easy task; far from a breeze, but by default is one of life's most fulfilling occupations. All those sleeping hours lost, energy drained, money spent, personal dreams put to a hold - every single deprivation are deemed justified, by virtue of them witnessing their cherished children breathing and living their own lives.

And as fathers, they also acquire the responsibility to become role models for their young.

Last week I had a revelation while talking to a toddler, about his future;

Me : Nanti dh besar, along nak jadi apa?  [What do you want to be when you grow up?]

A : Along nak jadi macam abah along lah. [I want to be like my father.]

Me : Jadi cikgu ke? [Being a teacher?]

A : Tak lah, along nak jadi mcm abah. Jaga keluarga. [No, I want to like my father. Taking care of his family.]

When I was child, my answer would've range from the typical doctor, lawyer and policeman to the more adventurous space-cowboy. But never would my answer was to be a dad.

This is for all fathers out there; losing their minds catering to their loved children. This is for my father; whom I'm dedicating my life making up for all the things he has sacrificed and done for me. Thank you for always putting us ahead of your own selves. To all of us who are fortunate enough to be among their fathers; celebrate every waking moment you share with them. Tell them how much we love them, and how significant they mean to our lives. Never take them for granted, for when the time comes for us to bid our final farewells - our fathers will always live forever in our hearts and remembered in our prayers.

Thank you for always being my hero, and here's hoping I'd be able to show my future children even a fraction of the wisdom and care you had given me - back when I was still that kid who always caused you those many headaches.

Happy fathers day, Papa. 



Anonymous said...

happy father's day pak ngah.....from emy n family.....

Kistina Mohamed said...

Encik Jep, i'd like to ask your permission to re-quote this:
When I was young, I always thought that I was living my life though the eyes of my father; but little that I know - he was instead living his, through mine.

because i totally feel the same way, i just love how you point it out.

JeP said...

Hi Kistina,

Sure, by all means please share them. I'm glad that you share my sentiments; I'm sure you also have a wonderful father and he loves you just as much as mine does me.