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Sunday, June 21, 2009

"The one with my first role model..."

It matters not how we refer them to as; abah, abi, papa or dad - if mom was my first love, my dad would indefinitely be my first role model.

If motherly love is a predominant feeling for most of us; a father's would be more of a subliminal affiliation. Of course, the thing about being a father is that, they don't usually show affection as open as a mother does. Their love works in ways a son or daughter would never comprehend growing up; a constant misinterpretation for being one either too commanding or constrictive. Be this a rue digressing from their ego, or just the fact that the whole male homosapien figure and psychological quotients are not built that way. Alas, everyone always has a story about their father. Everyone definitely would have one.

Call it coming of age, or homesickness - I have never been this deeply moved by a picture of my dad, than this recent one;

[ Pictures courtesy of my dearest Fifah. ]

I was looking through my childhood pictures with me and my dad in it, but was surprised there weren't as much compared to those with my mom. There were actually a lot of pictures of us Mas-es growing up - but most of them are either with my mom, or other close relatives of ours. Most of them, through birthdays and picnics and outings, in the States or on Malaysian soil.


Was my dad an absent figure in my childhood? Was he not that driving force in my life all these while?

I then realized why.

His absence was clarified - and the thought reminded me of how proud I am to have him in my life. My dad was actually in ALL those pictures. He was always there, in each pose and smile.

He, was actually the one BEHIND the camera.

Making sure all those steps, success, triumphs and achievements gets recorded on film.

A father is probably the person we'd all love to hate. He's the one person who keeps our feet firm on the ground when we fall out of place. He's that one voice who tells us there's always room for improvement. His support comes not in the form of words but in the valor of action. He's that bastion of hope; that one voice who asks us to continue on, when we feel like giving up. He's the one person we strive to impress, and the last person we'd want to humiliate. But the best of all, he's the one who takes the providence of being on our bad side - just because it is in our best interest.

Thank you dad, for always bothering me with extra homework - because now I am educated. Thank you dad, for not showering me with life's unnecessary luxuries - because now I know the value of money. Thank you dad, for always forcing me to try new things - because now I have an open and conscious mind. Thank you dad for always asking me why didn't I get full marks on a paper I scored 98% - because now I'd settled for nothing but perfection. Thank you dad, for always making me feel bad to finish second - because now I always give my all in everything I do. But, most of all - thank you dad for always taking the blame on everything - because now I know the importance of sacrifice.

Today, is every bit dedicated to you as the other days in my life. Thank you for always being a part of my life, be it in frame or behind the lenses. You've taught me fear, you've taught me pride. You've taught me courage, you've taught me humbleness. Without sounding too cliche - you taught a lot of sense into me.

I hope we have made you proud dad; as proud as we are of you.

Happy Father's day dad, we all love you so very much.

Your first (few) pupils,
Mama, Andi, JeP, Afzal, Aiysha, Atiqah


P/S : Sorry I didn't get your name on the first post Dr.! (Could have sworn I'd at least thought I did!)


wa said...

Now U are making me homesick!!! Huhuhu... Have a good one!

Andi said...

To the first superhero in our lives! And hoping you don't mind keeping on being that superhero to the very end, Papa!

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum wbt

Apsal Papa tak senyum dalam gambar ngan mama tu?? Part yang Papa kurung dalam bilik stor tak ingat ke? Itu part of learning how to cope in da dark kot..but in the end you are claustrophobic la Jep! =)

- Afzal (yang menaip ayat diatas based on kenyataan Mama)

Andi said...

err, nama Afzal mana?

Anonymous said...

Kenapa nama Afzal takdek??


Anonymous said...

Where is Afzal?


JeP said...

opss, terlupa plak! sorry bos.

ok, post corrected as it should've been.


p/s : bab kene kurung dalam tandas tu yg x tahan. pikir2 balik kelakar jugak.

Anasfadilah said...

kau memang dari kecik suka buat muka macam tu ke?hahaha