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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"The one where we all lie...."

As humans, we are often liars.

Albeit the harsh and morbid statement, I believe we all are guilty of lies; some even prefer to disguise this verity by a label - we more commonly know this as 'telling a white lie', thus enunciating our innocence and masking our guilt. In our deepest, darkest and unobstructed confessions we all are, by default perverts of deceit and defamation. At most compelling and trying times, we find that falsehood is an easy predicament to live by; and relaying the truth is sometimes most difficult. Lies are more plausible, more appealing for reason than reality; since the liar has the uncanny advantage of knowing what the audience wishes or expects to hear beforehand. In that sense, yes - we do lie. For others, probably too much that it overthrows their own advantage.

But consider this - what if a lie instead condones hope, alleviates comfort, or permits acceptance?

Could lies be (in a manner of speaking) androgynous; forthright hypocritical by its definition? In all political correctness, in some cases and extremes, if lies are told correctly - would it then serve a similar realization as the truth?

What do you say to these individuals, going through these certain situations;

1. An only child, going through the divorce of her parents while contemplating his/her reluctant custody.

2. A dear person, in the hospital dying from an incurable disease.

3. A mother going through the demise of her only child.

4. A family member, going through a medical operation with the notion that he/she may not come out of the theater alive.

The answer's simple : You would say that everything's okay, and it's going to be alright. In spite of the resounding truth, we mutter molded statements that say otherwise. We could be pious and tell the truth, but we chose not to. Telling a lie, like other things in life - is a choice. For wise people, telling lies are not at their own interest but it is for others. They tell lies, not because it is the preferred option but is the right thing to do.

Would we convey a bleak future for an innocent child who's birthday doesn't exceed the count of her right fingers, or do we instill courage for her to be strong and diligent at such a young age?

Would a mother seeking acceptance over her child's death be reminded of her recent lost, or rekindle the fulfilled life he/she had while they were alive?

Or would a patient on his/her deathbed prefer the truth of his/her predicament, or would he/she seek solidarity in the fact that they're moving on to a better place, a better state?

When that someone is a dear friend, acquaintance or even family - our lies before more profound, even boggling at times. Will we condemn the lie a sin, or uphold the sin a savior? In our relations to God, would He decree us sinners or would He lift us of noble heights? Within this context, this definition, this semantic - is there really such a thing as a white lie?

Like a knife; lies can be an agent for good or bad, we may honor it for both admirable or devastating causes. When someone lies and their lies conceived - do we assert them with punishment and foul words, or do we deliberate and contemplate into their reasons? Passing judgment of it then, remains another choice requiring reason for the benefit of the doubt - for us to make.

When we say to our friends they look good in a sweater they love but could barely fit in - we say that because we love them. When we tell our children they're a genius even though they just flunked their exams - we say that because we love them. When we say to our wives of many years she still looks beautiful among those wrinkles and aged complexion - we say that because we love them.

In the confines of these contexts; lying is not entirely a bad thing.

Here's to my parents and siblings who've (may or may not have!) done a lot of lying for me whilst I was growing up. Thank you to all of you for supplicating me with enough white lies to make me who I am today. Thank you for giving me the strength, courage and willpower to stride through my tests even though I appear my weakest, most timid and inept. Though lies conform a dishonorable stigma, you have shown me that at right times and right moments - it is the right thing to do.

It is by knowing when, where or how to lie - that conforms our own wisdom and enlightenment.



Nor Fadzlina Nawi said...

We are ...only human...though some aim to be superhuman :-))

JeP said...

True that. Thank God our pants don't catch on fire every time we lie hehehe.

P.S : I hope you're not directing that last statement to me akak! :D

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