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Monday, October 08, 2007

"The one with the end of a beginning..."

Tonight embraces 4-days preceeding the end of the holiest of months in the Hijrah calendar. Young ones jump in the joy of the concluding fasting month, while the blessed many are engulfed in emotions otherwise. Whatever it may present itself, Syawal's definitely knocking on the door; and gives us many reasons to be calculative of how we've spent this year's Ramadhan.

For most of us, it'll past as another month of the year. Shame, as it rewards those who seek it grandly. For those fortunate enough, this is when we realize our stand against all that we've sinned and find in ourselves the 'nawaitu' to change towards the better. For those blessed, the coming of Syawal raises much emotions of sadness that Ramadhan has ended and that a month so holy as it is would not shed till the next turn of the year. At least for us, which group are we in?

I'm frankly not a big fan in celebrating aidilfitri this year. For many reasons, but undeniably contributed to the fact that this'll be the first without dearest Wan Zaharah. Of course, it's hard knowing that the past 23 years she's been a figure you'd fondly look forward to seeing each raya; so this year I'm definitely not sure of how things are going to be. At least this year the 1st of Syawal we'll be within the confines of the Ipoh crib so I guess it'll not hurt as much. I'm trying to look at the best of things. At least Wan Ipoh is still around, and I enjoy spending raya with her as much as the other party.

Again, it's reaching the end of Ramadhan and suddenly I feel this urge to express these thoughts to all of you. In such a morbid feeling, I see a dark mist at the end of the tunnel...

-JeP

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