"The one with blogging again...."

Hmmm....

Let's do a time count.

3 months; that's approx 90 days. It's been a while....

Much to the request of many, yes I'm starting to blog again. But lemme explain all that's due explaining for my absence all these while.

A rollercoaster ride. That is more or less an enactment of how things have been happening in my life. Tedious, hectic and busy seems to take a large portion of the pie. But nothing left as much an impact than the passing of my darling grandmother. It's been nearly a month coming since she passed away but we're missing her still.

The past few months of this year, I've been devoting myself to catering and taking care of her health needs; at least one of my non-deterring efforts in helping her cope and fight her battle with cancer. It was hard, sometimes seems impossible (to the point of giving up) but looking back it was well worth it. We've learned a great deal, and we've dealt as well as come to terms to an equal share of things also. My grandmother exhibited sheer determination; and a strong will to survive. It seemed at some point she could've gone through this completely recovered.

Alas, God loved her so much more than us therefore it was due time for her to return back to Him. As much as we grieve for her loss, we're grateful that God still grants us a strong loving family. As she resides permanently in the soils of Bentong, we're reminded of how much stronger as a unit our family has become. After all, Wan always reminded me about how important for us to remember that - what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger.

I love her so much, and as much is it hard for me to let go of her - I believe deep in her heart she wanted us to move on with our lives. And concentrate of what, or who we still have.

I'm currently taking a HUGE break from things in UPM. I guess after a few months I deserved to wind down for a while and reboot. I've recently finished 95% of my thesis work and since I'm now working on my publications I might as well do it within the confines of my humble abode in KK. At least there I'll be with Mom and Dad, Andi, Atiqah, Aiysha and Afzal.

Speaking of being home, it's been two days now and I'm quite melancholic about how things are here. It's just very different from KL, amidst the hustle and bustle of a city developing into a metropolitan-status. Sure, many things have changed since my last visit here. Interest and attention moved onto much urban sites. Damai is no longer overpopulated with people. Flyovers are everywhere but finished. Shops have come and go. But one thing remains unchanged - the same people and culture I've learned to love. Sabahans - they never change, and I hope they won't have to.

As I continue typing this post, I'm quickly taken back to the good 'ol days when I was growing up in this city. Boy things have changed. People I've grown up with have, well, grown. Most have been working for at least a year. Most have just graduated and looking for jobs. It's just so different, the situation right now. You used to find common interest in much more abstract things as a youth but now that we're all matured you find out that most of the things that took our attention doesn't anymore. Of course it's called evolution, but it'd be great if we could just zoom back to time once in a while. Remembering, and learning. I guess that's why people say the most valuable lesson we learn are those embedded in time.

A couple of people got hitched and engaged in the last few months. Some got pregnant with their first-borns. Some celebrated the turn of their calendar, and some moved on up their career-ladders. Whatever it is, I wish them all the best of luck and congratulations. I'm happy for all of you and you'll be in my prayers all the time.

For all it's worth, each time we have is precious. Live in the moment, and look forward for the future with an open mind.

-JeP