"The one with a warm Eid in the coldest of springs..."

I have always harbored this bewildered, perplexing idea that I'll dread this year's Eids. What with myself being away from the family, and with chemoboy's challenges; I must admit - the notion of spending my most favorite yearly occasion overseas was not high on my list of things to do before I push 4o. Realizing God often convey rewards serendipitously in light of malevolence, I instead focused my ailing thoughts entirely on this entity called optimism. Like Jay Livingston's fictional motto - I left everything to chance; in that que sera sera spirit.

Alhamdulillah, such tranquil is the solace of faith.

Have you ever had that bemusing thought; a euphoric moment, so sensational it falters the conventions of your emotional palate? An ovation of feelings, a gasp of emotions both heart warming and heart wrenching - your lips tries a smile but instead carves a smirk? At the back of your mind, you try to fathom the happiness that you have - but instead muse in apprehension that there's still a huge piece missing from it all. This Eid's been a roller coaster of thoughts and articulated feelings, for the manner of which it was celebrated.

But, in respite - I am in debt to God for His every blessings in these very trying times.

I have always been blessed by having a little family away from home, everywhere I go, wherever I am and whatever path I am led on to. If you'd asked me how my raya went - I'd have only an answer to say and that it was surprisingly great. I'm thankful God has given me a chance to enjoy my Eids again this year. And I'm even more gratified for all the beautiful people He has added to me here - to the already colorful set of families I have.
My first Eid celebration abroad has been a very interesting and wonderful experience indeed. I have witnessed gestures of love, affection, warmth, and closeness which may not (or within reason, would never) equal my family's - but by far the difference equals a very fine line. True to test, nothing beats the feeling of being able to personally endure these such moments in your life; it shapes your very character and perseveres your roots. Testament to this, I fall back on a celestial thought that the farther you push yourself; to more you'll learn, the more you'll gain, and the more you'll appreciate. My thanks goes to everyone that shared a laugh this Aidilfitri with me here in Melbourne, and also to those who I always hold dear in my heart as well as those who have me in theirs.

A friend once asked me why I preferentially am inclined a portraitists in the pictures I took this Eids. In a verbal nod I attribute this to the simple apprehension of facial expressions versus emotions. But in actual connotations, every portrait represents parts that remind me of home. Every picture reminds me of those six people I'll always have wherever I am.
These pictures remind me of my family, my home. Mom. Dad. Andi. Afzal. Aiysha. Atiqah. With all those smiles, joy and smirks - within these pictures, I am reminded of them all.

I have learned that - if you focus on things you don't have; you'll have nothing. But if you focus on the things you already have; then you'll realize you'd have everything.

-JeP

P/S : I believe mom's already on her way back home from an Eid's well spent with chemoboy. In my prayers I do hope they've had a great one, in hopes that he'll at least be high in spirit for his next radical dose tomorrow. I wish him all the strength one can muster come this week's ordeal.